On interpersonal relations and books

Ad Mundo Exteriore,

The annoying thing about associating with people who are more than acquaintances but not quite friends is that if you're not sure whether you've inadvertently offended them then there's no easy way to approach the subject.

See, if they're just acquaintances, they'll forget about it. If they're friends, then they wouldn't take it seriously or they'll tell you that it was offensive. If they're inbetween...you're left uncertain. (And if they're enemies, then it means you won the last battle. ::evil grin::) And what makes it annoying is that I'm not even sure whether the person in question was offended. I didn't think I said anything particularly mean, but then I saw that person's face, and it made me feel guilty. It's been nagging at me all afternoon, because I remember feeling hurt by other random more-than-acquaintances-but-not-yet-friends before. Of course, as you may tell by now, I'm overly sensitive (and probably a compulsive worrier) so I tended to feel hurt quite frequently, which may mean that I'm not the best gauge for other people's reactions and...

Sheesh. I've become much more easygoing once I grew out of the stupid teenager stage, but I still worry about these pseudofriendship things. I mean, with my close friends like lush_rimbaud, I've been with them long enough to feel comfortable about knowing what kind of banter is fine and what isn't. Wouldn't it be nice if we could conveniently read each other's minds just at the moments when we need to?

In other news, I finished Long Day's Journey Into Night, which was indeed amazing. I wish I could have seen it on Broadway. Of course, it's a terribly depressing play, but for some reason it didn't make me feel depressed. It's just too good a play to be completely morbid. There was such a clarity about the writing...I don't know how to describe it otherwise, but it was terribly vivid and precise and clear. You know how at certain moments, you feel more alert, and suddenly the world sharpens into focus? (Might be more familiar to people with nearsightedness and astigmatism like me.) Well, the whole play felt like such a moment, very crisp and very clear and very beautiful.

I also read another bad fantasy book, which was so awful that I don't know how I got through it. The plot was full of convenient wish-fulfillment and unconvincing characterization. Argh. I mean, all of the sudden, the heroine is destined to perform this great Act of Power, without much evidence beforehand to convince you that she would have such ability to begin with. The ending was such a contrived happy resolution to the mess and entirely unsatisfactory as a result. The writing...well...let's say that while the grammar wasn't incorrect, it's not particularly above the level of the fanfics on FF.net. But then, what else did I expect? >_<

But I picked up Narayan's The English Teacher, which will probably make me feel better. ^_^ I still have to finish the Aquinas biography, not to mention the Shannara trilogy and The Dream of Scipio. I don't know, taking a closer look at The Dream of Scipio, it doesn't really seem like my type of book but I suppose I should give it a chance. I'm also rereading Ivanhoe for my tutoring lessons with a fifth grader. I read it for the first time myself in fifth grade, so I thought it would be appropriate, but the kid seems to have trouble with the melodramatic and partly feigned archaism of the language. (It's supposed to be evocative rather than accurate archaism, I think.) So that's it for the current reading list. The presence of so many libraries is spoiling me dreadfully. Soon I may be as extravagant as lush_rimbaud with her thirty books out at a time.

...Tari