Rant, rant, rant
Dec. 11th, 2004 07:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tarigwaemirLowell House, on the Feast of St. Damasus
Am backlogged on replying to LJ comments and may remain backlogged for a while (although I am reading them and would in other situations respond). Hopefully will catch up soon. >_<
I've spent the past twenty minutes typing up a rant because I've had another spat with my parents and need to vent. It is typical whining, in my typical long-winded mode. Feel free to respond, but note that if you're going to say something along the lines of "don't listen to your parents then and save yourself an aneursym," you are wasting your breath and it's probably better if you just don't read all my self-pitying complaints. (Not that people on my LJ friends list are necessarily prone to telling me that, but you know.)
I have a chemistry exam on the 20th and several problem sets/projects/homework assignments due this week before the exam. My goal for this weekend was to get all those problem sets/projects/homework assignments finished ahead of time in order to leave this week free for studying. I'm a little behind in my schedule, but still much farther ahead than I usually am. I always plan every hour of my weekend and always end up doing everything on Sunday anyway. But right now, I actually have a chance at getting everything done like I wanted to.
In this pleased and satisfied mood, I went and called my parents like I normally do when I want to tell someone that I'm happy about something. Instead I ended up with a shouting match with my mother over why I wasn't intending on studying for the chemistry exam yet this weekend and why I spent the time I could have used studying for chemistry at kendo practice instead.
I have a whole extra weekend to study for chemistry! Even if I skipped practice today and even if I somehow managed to use that extra two hours of time constructively, I wouldn't have started studying for chemistry! I would have worked on my chemistry pre-lab, my physics lab report, my chemistry problem set, my physics problem set, my biology problem set and my Korean homework. If I managed to get all that done, I would have started studying for my Korean quiz this Wednesday, not the chemistry midterm! I don't intend on starting chemistry until Monday, and I hope, if things go according to plan, that I will have the whole week to do nothing but that. If I find that I'm short on time and need to skip practice, I would do that next Saturday. Is there anything wrong with this proposed study plan, even through the eyes of an Asian parent who believes that all the hours of the day should be spent sleeping, eating or studying (and nothing else)?
I ended up in a screaming match and hung up on her. My cell phone has been turned off and the room phone disconnected--I hope Nan doesn't mind. We both mostly use our cell phones anyway, so I think she won't care.
No, I didn't tell my parents about the kendo party tonight--and clearly, if I did, I would have been mind-bludgeoned into not going. I don't know if it's conditioning or not, but I can't stand to be at odds with my parents for too long, and usually I end up giving in, after a huge tantrum on both parts. But I have only one nonacademic commitment this year that I give any sort of priority to (I skip out on all my other extracurricular activities to the point where I'm not sure if I can say that I even belong to those extracurriculars anymore), and if I had no extracurricular commitments at all, I could not attest to the state of my mental and physical health. (And from an utterly crass standpoint, I would be screwed because I'd have nothing worth putting on my resume. You would think the typical Asian parent would understand this point of view at least if they couldn't quite manage a concern for my mental health.) I like belonging to the kendo club: not only has it given me some remote semblance of social life, but also a blocking group, a larger circle of casual friends and acquaintances, a topic for small talk, a means of getting physically fit, an appetite...
Ugh, I hate it. I also feel horribly humiliated because I was at my worst mode, shrieking in my highest-pitched voice in Korean for the entire entryway to hear. >_< Normally I'd admit that it's my fault for losing my temper. The way to manage my mother is to talk to her from a position of calm and absolute superiority, since it infuriates her and forces her to lose her temper first, and I know this, but unfortunately I get out-manipulated every time.
Now that I've ranted at enough people, I'm going to sit down and actually do all the Korean homework I said I'd do in the hour and twenty minutes I have before meeting up with Daera. Ugh, I am passing from angry phase into guilt phase. I hope I don't end up bringing Chinese character flash cards with me on the shuttle. (I know, I know, I'm a nerd. What else is new? But whenever my mother scolds me about not studying enough, even if she's being utterly unreasonable, I still end up worrying if I'm studying enough. Argh.)
Yours &c.
Am backlogged on replying to LJ comments and may remain backlogged for a while (although I am reading them and would in other situations respond). Hopefully will catch up soon. >_<
I've spent the past twenty minutes typing up a rant because I've had another spat with my parents and need to vent. It is typical whining, in my typical long-winded mode. Feel free to respond, but note that if you're going to say something along the lines of "don't listen to your parents then and save yourself an aneursym," you are wasting your breath and it's probably better if you just don't read all my self-pitying complaints. (Not that people on my LJ friends list are necessarily prone to telling me that, but you know.)
I have a chemistry exam on the 20th and several problem sets/projects/homework assignments due this week before the exam. My goal for this weekend was to get all those problem sets/projects/homework assignments finished ahead of time in order to leave this week free for studying. I'm a little behind in my schedule, but still much farther ahead than I usually am. I always plan every hour of my weekend and always end up doing everything on Sunday anyway. But right now, I actually have a chance at getting everything done like I wanted to.
In this pleased and satisfied mood, I went and called my parents like I normally do when I want to tell someone that I'm happy about something. Instead I ended up with a shouting match with my mother over why I wasn't intending on studying for the chemistry exam yet this weekend and why I spent the time I could have used studying for chemistry at kendo practice instead.
I have a whole extra weekend to study for chemistry! Even if I skipped practice today and even if I somehow managed to use that extra two hours of time constructively, I wouldn't have started studying for chemistry! I would have worked on my chemistry pre-lab, my physics lab report, my chemistry problem set, my physics problem set, my biology problem set and my Korean homework. If I managed to get all that done, I would have started studying for my Korean quiz this Wednesday, not the chemistry midterm! I don't intend on starting chemistry until Monday, and I hope, if things go according to plan, that I will have the whole week to do nothing but that. If I find that I'm short on time and need to skip practice, I would do that next Saturday. Is there anything wrong with this proposed study plan, even through the eyes of an Asian parent who believes that all the hours of the day should be spent sleeping, eating or studying (and nothing else)?
I ended up in a screaming match and hung up on her. My cell phone has been turned off and the room phone disconnected--I hope Nan doesn't mind. We both mostly use our cell phones anyway, so I think she won't care.
No, I didn't tell my parents about the kendo party tonight--and clearly, if I did, I would have been mind-bludgeoned into not going. I don't know if it's conditioning or not, but I can't stand to be at odds with my parents for too long, and usually I end up giving in, after a huge tantrum on both parts. But I have only one nonacademic commitment this year that I give any sort of priority to (I skip out on all my other extracurricular activities to the point where I'm not sure if I can say that I even belong to those extracurriculars anymore), and if I had no extracurricular commitments at all, I could not attest to the state of my mental and physical health. (And from an utterly crass standpoint, I would be screwed because I'd have nothing worth putting on my resume. You would think the typical Asian parent would understand this point of view at least if they couldn't quite manage a concern for my mental health.) I like belonging to the kendo club: not only has it given me some remote semblance of social life, but also a blocking group, a larger circle of casual friends and acquaintances, a topic for small talk, a means of getting physically fit, an appetite...
Ugh, I hate it. I also feel horribly humiliated because I was at my worst mode, shrieking in my highest-pitched voice in Korean for the entire entryway to hear. >_< Normally I'd admit that it's my fault for losing my temper. The way to manage my mother is to talk to her from a position of calm and absolute superiority, since it infuriates her and forces her to lose her temper first, and I know this, but unfortunately I get out-manipulated every time.
Now that I've ranted at enough people, I'm going to sit down and actually do all the Korean homework I said I'd do in the hour and twenty minutes I have before meeting up with Daera. Ugh, I am passing from angry phase into guilt phase. I hope I don't end up bringing Chinese character flash cards with me on the shuttle. (I know, I know, I'm a nerd. What else is new? But whenever my mother scolds me about not studying enough, even if she's being utterly unreasonable, I still end up worrying if I'm studying enough. Argh.)
Yours &c.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-11 05:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-12 05:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-11 05:41 pm (UTC)~Incredibles was a good movie~
Fighting!!~
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-12 05:21 pm (UTC)Sometimes I do manipulate my mother, but she gets to me more quickly than I get to her. >_
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-11 09:08 pm (UTC)I'm just trying to avoid my mom for now.
O.o
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-12 05:22 pm (UTC)Well, Christmas break is coming soon. Let's hold on to that thought. ^_^
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-12 09:53 pm (UTC)I WANT CHRISTMAS!!
O.o
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-12 03:27 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-12 02:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-12 05:23 pm (UTC)