Drabble for faeryetale

[tarigwaemir]

Lowell House, on the Feast of Ste. Solange

faeryetale wanted to see my take on Eriol/Tomoyo, and apparently, it's a muddled fusion of all the CCS fics I've ever read. The following ficlet is rather disorganized and reads more like the unfinished draft of a much longer fic (which I'll probably never actually write) because it tries to cover too much in too little time. >_< I hope it's still worth reading, Meemee.

Reunion

Tomoyo was too polite to gawk, of course, but she paused before the ornate scrollwork of the iron gates, hesitated over the thick curtains of ivy crawling up the old stone walls, and came to a halt before the marble staircase that loomed behind the front door. The porters carrying her suitcases stopped as well and fidgeted as she tilted her head back to examine the carved banisters, the oak-paneled walls and finally the chandelier that lit the dim front hallway. She clasped her hands behind her back and drew herself a little taller before starting briskly up the staircase.

When the porters had left her baggage in a neatly ordered pile in the center of the small but well-lit suite on the third floor of the overwhelming house, she allowed herself to drop into a chair with a little sigh and buried her face in her hands. "What am I doing here?" she asked the empty room through her fingers.

"Keeping an eye on me and my troublemaking ways, of course," answered a light-hearted voice. She looked up.

"Hiiragizawa-kun!"

"Who else?" he replied, with a bow. "Sakura-san informed me that you would be arriving this morning, and I hurried over as soon as I could to deliver a proper welcome."

She smiled at him, and he felt his face flush as if he were still an awkward sixteen. "Thank you, Hiiragizawa-kun. It's a relief to see a familiar face."

"Am I still familiar then?"

"Certainly," she answered, her face serious. "You haven't changed at all since you last visited Tomoeda."

"One of the side effects of inheriting a magician's soul, I suppose," he said carelessly and sat down without invitation on the uncovered mattress. "What brings you to England, Tomoyo-san? Sakura-san didn't say much more than that you were here to study."

"Mother felt a year or two abroad would do me good. It would give me a chance to practice my English."

He gave her a sharp, assessing glance. She turned away and pretended to gaze out the window. "I suppose it has nothing to do with my cousin's recent return to Japan?"

Her smile did not falter. "They plan to announce their engagement next month."

"I'm surprised Xiao-lang took so long to propose."

"People do change, Hiiragizawa-kun. She was not the same Sakura he remembered. But they only fell in love all over again when he returned." She finally met his eyes, almost defiantly. "They make a beautiful couple."

He leaned back against the wall and observed the thin hands clenched in the folds of her skirt, the slight twist to her small pale mouth, and the unreadable expression in her unflinching eyes. The fall of her dark hair still bound in girlish ribbons against her shoulders, the shapeliness of her ankles half-hidden beneath her long skirt. His breath caught, despite himself, and he looked away.

"Hiiragizawa-kun," she began.

"Come, Tomoyo-san," he interrupted, his tone flippant and cheerful, "you must be exhausted from your journey. Let me treat you to lunch." He opened the door, ready to escort her.

She stood, but repeated, "Hiiragizawa-kun."

He smiled at her, his hand still on the door. "Yes?"

"Have /I/ changed?"

He froze. After a pause, he forced himself to say calmly, "I don't know, Tomoyo-san. Have you?"

She sighed and did not answer.

He closed the door and walked toward her. Slowly, with shaking hands, he reached for one of her clenched fists and gently opened it, placing her palm between his own. He asked quietly, "Do you want to change?"

They stood there, her hand in his, eyes averted from each other. She said, just as quietly, "I don't know. It isn't something that I can start or stop by simply wanting, is it?"

"No, Tomoyo-san." He let her hand go and stepped back.

She took a deep breath and said quickly and desperately, "But I want to change, Hiiragizawa-kun. Sakura-chan asked me to try. I want to change too."

He looked startled at the outburst. He said, hesitantly, "She's not the same Sakura you remember either. Is she?"

Tomoyo mutely shook her head.

"I see," he said in an unsteady voice.

"Am I the same Tomoyo /you/ remember, Eriol?"

He blinked at the use of his given name, but said without hesitation, "Yes. Always."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I can't. But I believe it anyway."

"Foolish Eriol," she said affectionately and took his arm. They left the room, side by side: a step at a time.

END

Edit: Revisions made according to suggestions from lazulisong and sub_divided.

In other news, I still have the majority of my cell biology paper to write. No, of course, I haven't spent all afternoon writing fic instead of doing work...::whistles innocently::

Yours &c.

Comments

[lazulisong.livejournal.com]

Well, I liked it.

One minor detail, with the /chan/ thing - I know you're doing it because it's a foriegn word but it honestly makes me think they're going Well hello Tomoyo-SAN and meaning something by it. o_oa In this case I wouldn't italicize it at all.

[lazulisong.livejournal.com]

hit the post key, sorry. o_o

What I mean is, you wouldn't italicize Mme or Mlle or Sr or Sra, would you? and -chan/-san/-kun are the same sort of thing, a method of address. (I wouldn't italicize things like Oniichan either but god only knows I have spent hours wracking my poor brains for a way to avoid actually saying the word oniichan -- honest to God, if I ever redo Icebreakers it will be because I looked at the line where I had Syaoran call his sister Aneki-tachi and finally give into the shame of what I did.)

Also, I don't think it sounded like a mismash of other people at all -- the thing is that after a certain point there IS no way to tell a new story. I used to read quite a few romances (to put it as delicately as possible) and got to know the genre conventions pretty well. Seriously, one time I was flipping through a bound copy of Harper's Weekly from 188-odd and found the Lonely Lawman and the Brave Widder Lady and Her Adorable Children, large as life, over a hundred years old and still managing to read like a Harlequin Historical.

Which was the point where I decided that there was no way to tell a new story. The thing is that it's the first time it's been told by you. If that makes any sense?

[troisroyaumes]

Ohmygosh, Meg said she liked my E/T fic! Yaaaaay! XD Seriously, though, it means a lot to me, since, well, Icebreakers pretty much defined Eriol and Tomoyo for me, and I kind of just read it again for the tenth time a few days ago. ^_^

Hm, I see your point about the italics. I never thought of it that way before--I tend to automatically italicize all Japanese terms unless they're extremely common in English--but the M./Mme/Mlle parallel makes sense. I'll have to sit down and edit my fics sometime. ^_^;;

I suppose what I meant by "fusion" was that CCS tends to be a series where I'm more familiar with the fanon material than the original. So I felt that this was more of a fanfic of other fanfics, rather than for CCS itself. Anyway, thanks so much for the reassurance--I tend to get a little insecure about my fiction writing, and it's really nice to hear encouragement like that. ^_^

[tokyofish.livejournal.com]

I also really enjoyed it, though I'll have to agree with Meg about the italics. ^^; Especially since you slashed "I" in this 'fic too.

Regarding your concerns over the 'fic, since ExT is a non-canon couple, I think that a lot of the conventions and, well, the image of them is built upon fandom perception and where the fandom decided to take them back in the early days (*koff* Icebreakers *koff* Turn *koff*). Do I believe that this should necessarily be so? No. Do I think that it's bad that this is so? No. In fact, I was quite pleased that your depiction of Eriol and Tomoyo fit in so nicely with my own mental image of them. It made the 'fic a lovely read and there was nothing jarring about the characterization of either. Because, unlike some fandom pairings, ExT started off as a couple written by good writers so I think the "accepted" view of the characters is pretty much spot-on. Not that I haven't had the same concerns as you, mind.

Back in the day I wrote Meg for the first time because I was freaking out that "Make Believe" was just a rip-off of "Lie to Me." T__T That being said, I think it's impossible to write ExT without being influenced by Meg or Tin or by people who were influenced by Meg or Tin and on and on. So just think of it as going off "canon" rather than "fanon." XDXD

But, really, it was very lovely. Your characterizations and descriptions are always so nice. I really envy that about you. Thanks for taking time away from school to indulge us. ^_~

[troisroyaumes]

Heh, yes, I think I'll go and do a massive de-italicizing sometime soon. ^_^;;

Yes, I guess the fandom history behind E/T would necessitate being influenced by other writers. Although I really am less familiar with the source material to begin with, since I've only watched the anime once and never read the manga. >_>;; It's a very different feeling from writing for another series where I do have more confidence in my grasp of the characters, like Hikaru no Go. I can precisely say, for example, that this is what I think of Touya and Shindou, and while that image is of course influenced by fandom, it's not wholly derived from it. On the other hand, when it comes to Eriol and Tomoyo, I can only sort of wave helplessly at Tin and Meg's fanfiction and squeal incoherently. ^_^

Anyway, I'm so glad you liked it! XD

[faeryetale.livejournal.com]

I liked it a lot! And I totally get what you mean--I frequently feel that my fanfiction is fanfiction of other fanfiction.

I agree with the italicized thing--at first I thought you were emphasizing it.

Well, on the fic itself, I think it's a lot like how I see them. They're both complicated characters, but don't tend to show it, and I think their relationship is the same way. They're quiet, subdued, polite, and hide beneath their layers, but that's how they are and it doesn't bother them. Blah, I'm rambling now. So anyhow I liked it. A LOT. XD

[troisroyaumes]

Yay, you liked it! ^_____^ I tried my best to keep their dynamic subtle, so I'm glad it came across that way. XD

[sub-divided.livejournal.com]

I don't think you have to worry *too* much about influences--the descriptions of the house and Tomoyo, maybe some of the characterization, did remind me of other ExT fics. But the dialogue was my favorite part and that was all you. It's a sort of intelligent idea-ful commentary that flows well but isn't *exactly* natural; it's thematic and manages to end just at the last sentence after circling around a few times.

Anyway, influences or not, this is great. I really like it.

One thing:
"What am I doing here?" she asked the empty room through her fingers.
"Why, to keep an eye on me and my troublemaking ways, of course," answered a light-hearted voice.

Eriol's response doesn't match Tomoyo's question--she asked "what" but he answered "why". You might want to switch either the question or the answer so that they match.

[troisroyaumes]

Ironically enough, the description of the house was taken from one of the nicer dorm buildings on campus, but then again, it was generic enough that it could come from anywhere. ^_^ But yes, the Tomoyo description and the characterization was definitely all taken bits and pieces from other fanfics. ^_^;; I'm very glad you liked the dialogue though. My main concern, actually, wasn't so much how derivative the fanfic was (although that seems to be the main topic of conversation in the comments XD), but rather how abruptly it seems to end, and I'm glad to hear that it did manage to pull together by the last sentence. ::sigh of relief::

Hm, I see why that bit might sound odd. Thanks for the feedback! (You're the best with the concrit! <3) ::goes off to edit and de-italicize::

[aetherangelette.livejournal.com]

You ... wrote... a .. O_O;; romantic fanfic! xD
Actually, I've kind of imagined this scene myself, if not at this stage, but it is better at this stage, hai hai.
I really like that line: "'People do change, Hiiragizawa-kun. She was not the same Sakura he remembered. But they only fell in love all over again when he returned." She finally met his eyes, almost defiantly. "They make a beautiful couple.'" I say it's your best romantic line in the fic. ^__^ Write more CCS fics! xD

[troisroyaumes]

Hey, this isn't the first time I've written romantic fic! I wrote: Unsent Letter and A Love Spell and Mourning after all.

Heh, it's odd you would pick that line to be romantic. I thought it was rather sad myself--I mean imagine having to say that the person you thought you loved best makes a beautiful couple with someone else. But I'm very glad you liked. And, um, we'll see about more CCS fics. >_>;;

[aetherangelette.livejournal.com]

MM, I had forgotten about that >_>

Well, I like it 'cuz of its content. Heh. How he fell in love with her all over again even after she changed. Mm~ <3 xD

More CCS fics!! xD~