School blather, belated Mushishi fic
Mar. 2nd, 2006 11:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tarigwaemirLowell House, on the Feast of Blessed Charles the Good
So far the lecturers for my systems biology course have had really awesome European accents (British and German). Also, I find Prof. Fontana's habit of putting little remarks like "motifation" (haha, pun!) and "lost in configuration space..." and "oops!" on the upper right of his Powerpoint slides very amusing. I still feel like the stupid person in section for not grasping the mathematics as quickly as everyone else, but nonetheless, I'm really enjoying learning how to work with Matlab. (Even if I'm also slower at Matlab than everyone else.) I've also continually pulled all-nighters to finish the problem sets, which is a combination of bad time management plus continual underestimation of the time it takes me to figure out the problems. Argh. I do have to say though that when I go through the problems at my own pace and figure out how everything works, it leaves me with an incredibly satisfying feeling. By now I'm reasonably certain that I am going to apply to Ph.D. programs in systems biology (where they are available, anyway), even if it means that I have to take more math courses in grad school to bring myself up to par. (I hope though that research-wise, I'll be able to focus more on the wetlab side of things.)
Molecular Ecology and Evolution is frustrating because nothing said in lecture is new on a conceptual level. They keep mentioning all these different models with various assumptions which all have their individual flaws, but never actually describe the models on a rigorous mathematical level (not that I'd be able to follow if they did) to make the content seem meaningful. Today's guest lecture was on protein evolution, and it kept harping on the same point over and over again: how to detect selective pressure on evolving sequences by looking at the synonymous : nonsynonymous mutation ratio. Except what bugs me about the whole business is that not all nonsynonymous mutations are equal. A mutation in the active site for example is going to be a much better indication of positive/negative selection than a mutation that doesn't really change the function of the protein. But then again most of what he presented was a simplification, so maybe they really do take that into account. I'm still not sure what the point of the lectures are. Maybe it means I should be doing the textbook readings. >_> On the other hand, the computer lab sections are very educational--I'm doing most of my learning there.
In Korean class on Monday, we had a brief presentation on nanotechnology (we're reading chapters from a book on future trends in Korean culture, society and economy), and the presenter began by asking, "What do you first think of when we say 'nanotechnology'?" I blurted out, "Bucky balls!" People stared at me. I tried to elaborate, "Um, buckminsterfullerene?" More blank stares. "Am I the only science concentrator in this room?" Realization hit that yes, I was the only science concentrator in the room.
The presenter continued on to say that he associated nanotechnology with little microscopic robots and machines, but that the chapter in question actually talked about new chemical materials like carbon nanotubes, which he hadn't thought of as nanotechnology before. After his presentation, I said, "But when they talk about nanotechnology, that's usually the example they mention first. Carbon nanotubes are based on buckminsterfullerene, which are molecules of 60 carbon atoms configured into the shape of a soccer ball. Has no one heard of them before?" Apparently not. I was so sure that "bucky balls" were common knowledge though. O_O
Oh, and as for physical biochemistry: judging from my total inability to do more than three or four problems on every problem set, I am going to fail next week's midterm. (We're only required to hand in two problems every week, but nonetheless it's disconcerting that I literally don't know how to do half of the problems on each set.) -_- That being said, I think if I actually sat down and worked through all the equations, I would find statistical thermodynamics really interesting. The bits that I do understand (i.e. the material Prof. Guidotti covers in lecture) are very cool. I think maybe by the end of this semester, I just may be semi-competent at math again, although I doubt I'll get over my inferiority complex anytime soon.
The fic I meant to write for the mile-long pole fic challenge. The premise was to imitate the style of a naturalist's notebook, a concept that would have worked better if I'd read more Darwin. I also wish I was more creative at coming up with ghost stories or at least redactions of ghost stories. It's been a while since I've written fic, and doesn't it just show. >_< I feel like there's something altogether too hasty and ill-constructed about the writing here, and I didn't really manage to capture the mood of the series. Comments and concrit appreciated, as always.
Excerpts from the notes of an apprentice mushishi
Written belatedly for the mile-long pole fic challenge
Mushi found in darkness
Morphology unknown as it crumbles to fine dust when exposed to light. Known to reflect sounds at supersonic frequencies; its presence detected in deep, narrow caves from the commotion of bats rendered blind by the cacophony.
A translucent, gelatinous body. Rotationally symmetric, like a softened crystal.
It lives on the underside of fern fronds and in the burrows of tall anthills--an inhabitant of shadows. On occasion it has been known to attach itself to a person's heels, but it is always forced to flee by noon.
Unnamed mushi
A famous case: a boy infected after wandering in dense forest by a hitherto unknown species. His fingers became hypersensitive to the point where they could no longer bear to touch any solid surface. The very air felt like a bombardment of dust against his skin. The mushishi consulted could find no cure. The boy bled to death after attempting to amputate his left hand.
"I suspect that the mirages seen at the eye of a snowstorm are no mere hallucinations."
Seen above a hot spring: a pale-yellow mist that contracts and expands with the heat. It exudes a bitter but elusive scent. Local inhabitants mention that on certain clear nights, it acquires an iridescence not unlike the inside of an oyster shell. Ginko suspects that it might secrete Luminosity.
A shrine to a mountain kami, a gathering place for many mushi. Among the species observed, there are unusual variants on otherwise recognizable forms. Six appendages instead of two. Coiled bodies that once were spiroid. Certain new symbioses have been observed as well: one species found to feed on the fluid secretions of another, in return for providing a host body. This fluid has a thick, viscous texture, not unlike pine sap, although it has no color.
Mushi that take human form
At an inn that I came across during my early travels, I heard a story of the ghost that haunted the local well. The voice of a girl who could not be seen but wailed for her mother in a loud, keening voice at twilight. She did not appear every evening, but only on cloudy days before it rained: a sort of barometer for the villagers. Nonetheless, they found the sound disconcerting, and in return for my meal at the inn, I went to take a look.
At twilight, the girl coalesced from microscopic particles in the air. Of indeterminate age, though I would judge her to be ten at most. Her face was expressionless even as she cried--a sound so heartbreaking that mothers who came to draw water from the well could not help shedding tears. I tried to speak to her, but she showed no sign of understanding or even noticing my presence.
Certain mushi are sensitive to intense emotions, but it was the first instance I've heard of where a human left an emotional imprint that endured long enough to continually attract mushi to the location. The mushi lie dormant underground, until a storm is imminent, in which case they flock to the surface at places like this well. Once, a child was abandoned by its mother here, and her fear and desperation have lingered in the air ever since.
Another story, told to me long ago. Once a young priestess broke her vows and ran away with a man she had met visiting her temple. A common occurence, but no one at the temple could remember seeing this mysterious visitor, and when she settled in a village in another valley, she wore her hair as a married woman but had no husband. However, her fields were tilled and yielded a modest harvest every year, though she lived alone and never seemed to work outside. For this reason, she was shunned and regarded as a witch. A mushishi passed by her house and was startled to notice the presence of a mushi, entirely human in appearance, living with this woman. It spoke human language haltingly but poetically.
It said: "I waited for her, and when I found her I remembered I was once human."
It said: "She sees me. When she looks at me, I become a self, unique and separate. But I am not distinct; day by day I blur into her."
The mushishi told the woman, "He is not human."
She said, "I know. When he touches me, I don't feel warmth from his skin, only a sense of vibrancy, an energy that I can't describe. We live mostly in silence, for he forgets how to speak and I forget the words I have to say. He spends his days outside in the fields, I live inside the house. I don't see him except at night. But I am always aware of his presence; we are never disconnected."
"Is such a relationship possible?"
"Every movement of mine responds to his, no matter where he is. Because of me, he learns to be human, and because of him, I learn to be alive."
"And when you die?"
She smiled in response: a tranquil, alien expression, an almost inhuman peace. The mushi's face mirrored hers.
Green mushi
A green so rich, so bright that it turns the passing sunlight into the color of young leaves.
END
Yours &c.
So far the lecturers for my systems biology course have had really awesome European accents (British and German). Also, I find Prof. Fontana's habit of putting little remarks like "motifation" (haha, pun!) and "lost in configuration space..." and "oops!" on the upper right of his Powerpoint slides very amusing. I still feel like the stupid person in section for not grasping the mathematics as quickly as everyone else, but nonetheless, I'm really enjoying learning how to work with Matlab. (Even if I'm also slower at Matlab than everyone else.) I've also continually pulled all-nighters to finish the problem sets, which is a combination of bad time management plus continual underestimation of the time it takes me to figure out the problems. Argh. I do have to say though that when I go through the problems at my own pace and figure out how everything works, it leaves me with an incredibly satisfying feeling. By now I'm reasonably certain that I am going to apply to Ph.D. programs in systems biology (where they are available, anyway), even if it means that I have to take more math courses in grad school to bring myself up to par. (I hope though that research-wise, I'll be able to focus more on the wetlab side of things.)
Molecular Ecology and Evolution is frustrating because nothing said in lecture is new on a conceptual level. They keep mentioning all these different models with various assumptions which all have their individual flaws, but never actually describe the models on a rigorous mathematical level (not that I'd be able to follow if they did) to make the content seem meaningful. Today's guest lecture was on protein evolution, and it kept harping on the same point over and over again: how to detect selective pressure on evolving sequences by looking at the synonymous : nonsynonymous mutation ratio. Except what bugs me about the whole business is that not all nonsynonymous mutations are equal. A mutation in the active site for example is going to be a much better indication of positive/negative selection than a mutation that doesn't really change the function of the protein. But then again most of what he presented was a simplification, so maybe they really do take that into account. I'm still not sure what the point of the lectures are. Maybe it means I should be doing the textbook readings. >_> On the other hand, the computer lab sections are very educational--I'm doing most of my learning there.
In Korean class on Monday, we had a brief presentation on nanotechnology (we're reading chapters from a book on future trends in Korean culture, society and economy), and the presenter began by asking, "What do you first think of when we say 'nanotechnology'?" I blurted out, "Bucky balls!" People stared at me. I tried to elaborate, "Um, buckminsterfullerene?" More blank stares. "Am I the only science concentrator in this room?" Realization hit that yes, I was the only science concentrator in the room.
The presenter continued on to say that he associated nanotechnology with little microscopic robots and machines, but that the chapter in question actually talked about new chemical materials like carbon nanotubes, which he hadn't thought of as nanotechnology before. After his presentation, I said, "But when they talk about nanotechnology, that's usually the example they mention first. Carbon nanotubes are based on buckminsterfullerene, which are molecules of 60 carbon atoms configured into the shape of a soccer ball. Has no one heard of them before?" Apparently not. I was so sure that "bucky balls" were common knowledge though. O_O
Oh, and as for physical biochemistry: judging from my total inability to do more than three or four problems on every problem set, I am going to fail next week's midterm. (We're only required to hand in two problems every week, but nonetheless it's disconcerting that I literally don't know how to do half of the problems on each set.) -_- That being said, I think if I actually sat down and worked through all the equations, I would find statistical thermodynamics really interesting. The bits that I do understand (i.e. the material Prof. Guidotti covers in lecture) are very cool. I think maybe by the end of this semester, I just may be semi-competent at math again, although I doubt I'll get over my inferiority complex anytime soon.
The fic I meant to write for the mile-long pole fic challenge. The premise was to imitate the style of a naturalist's notebook, a concept that would have worked better if I'd read more Darwin. I also wish I was more creative at coming up with ghost stories or at least redactions of ghost stories. It's been a while since I've written fic, and doesn't it just show. >_< I feel like there's something altogether too hasty and ill-constructed about the writing here, and I didn't really manage to capture the mood of the series. Comments and concrit appreciated, as always.
Excerpts from the notes of an apprentice mushishi
Written belatedly for the mile-long pole fic challenge
Mushi found in darkness
Morphology unknown as it crumbles to fine dust when exposed to light. Known to reflect sounds at supersonic frequencies; its presence detected in deep, narrow caves from the commotion of bats rendered blind by the cacophony.
A translucent, gelatinous body. Rotationally symmetric, like a softened crystal.
It lives on the underside of fern fronds and in the burrows of tall anthills--an inhabitant of shadows. On occasion it has been known to attach itself to a person's heels, but it is always forced to flee by noon.
Unnamed mushi
A famous case: a boy infected after wandering in dense forest by a hitherto unknown species. His fingers became hypersensitive to the point where they could no longer bear to touch any solid surface. The very air felt like a bombardment of dust against his skin. The mushishi consulted could find no cure. The boy bled to death after attempting to amputate his left hand.
"I suspect that the mirages seen at the eye of a snowstorm are no mere hallucinations."
Seen above a hot spring: a pale-yellow mist that contracts and expands with the heat. It exudes a bitter but elusive scent. Local inhabitants mention that on certain clear nights, it acquires an iridescence not unlike the inside of an oyster shell. Ginko suspects that it might secrete Luminosity.
A shrine to a mountain kami, a gathering place for many mushi. Among the species observed, there are unusual variants on otherwise recognizable forms. Six appendages instead of two. Coiled bodies that once were spiroid. Certain new symbioses have been observed as well: one species found to feed on the fluid secretions of another, in return for providing a host body. This fluid has a thick, viscous texture, not unlike pine sap, although it has no color.
Mushi that take human form
At an inn that I came across during my early travels, I heard a story of the ghost that haunted the local well. The voice of a girl who could not be seen but wailed for her mother in a loud, keening voice at twilight. She did not appear every evening, but only on cloudy days before it rained: a sort of barometer for the villagers. Nonetheless, they found the sound disconcerting, and in return for my meal at the inn, I went to take a look.
At twilight, the girl coalesced from microscopic particles in the air. Of indeterminate age, though I would judge her to be ten at most. Her face was expressionless even as she cried--a sound so heartbreaking that mothers who came to draw water from the well could not help shedding tears. I tried to speak to her, but she showed no sign of understanding or even noticing my presence.
Certain mushi are sensitive to intense emotions, but it was the first instance I've heard of where a human left an emotional imprint that endured long enough to continually attract mushi to the location. The mushi lie dormant underground, until a storm is imminent, in which case they flock to the surface at places like this well. Once, a child was abandoned by its mother here, and her fear and desperation have lingered in the air ever since.
Another story, told to me long ago. Once a young priestess broke her vows and ran away with a man she had met visiting her temple. A common occurence, but no one at the temple could remember seeing this mysterious visitor, and when she settled in a village in another valley, she wore her hair as a married woman but had no husband. However, her fields were tilled and yielded a modest harvest every year, though she lived alone and never seemed to work outside. For this reason, she was shunned and regarded as a witch. A mushishi passed by her house and was startled to notice the presence of a mushi, entirely human in appearance, living with this woman. It spoke human language haltingly but poetically.
It said: "I waited for her, and when I found her I remembered I was once human."
It said: "She sees me. When she looks at me, I become a self, unique and separate. But I am not distinct; day by day I blur into her."
The mushishi told the woman, "He is not human."
She said, "I know. When he touches me, I don't feel warmth from his skin, only a sense of vibrancy, an energy that I can't describe. We live mostly in silence, for he forgets how to speak and I forget the words I have to say. He spends his days outside in the fields, I live inside the house. I don't see him except at night. But I am always aware of his presence; we are never disconnected."
"Is such a relationship possible?"
"Every movement of mine responds to his, no matter where he is. Because of me, he learns to be human, and because of him, I learn to be alive."
"And when you die?"
She smiled in response: a tranquil, alien expression, an almost inhuman peace. The mushi's face mirrored hers.
Green mushi
A green so rich, so bright that it turns the passing sunlight into the color of young leaves.
END
Yours &c.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-03 06:02 am (UTC)I've never heard of bucky balls, but I understand the feeling of thinking that something's common knowledge and finding out it isn't. I have to take a Roman History intro survey for my Latin major, and it's really weird hearing Prof. M. say things in lecture and suddenly define words that I've known since high school, because then I feel (a) doesn't everyone know what imperium is? and (b) oh my zeus, some people *don't* know what imperium is. *cries at being stuck in intro lecture* I also missed points off my midterm because I didn't define some terms and only discussed their importance in Roman civ - not because I forgot to define them, but it didn't occur to me at all that it was necessary. I know what they mean, the TA knows what they mean and I think she knows that I know what they mean, my discussion shows that I know what they mean, and I haven't had to define legions or auxiliaries since...since high school! I am still bitter about missing half a point on this. It is grossly annoying to be penalized for not thinking dumb enough.
Ooh! I do have a comment on the last line of your fic, since I can see it in the Firefox frame with the comment box and it has no ghosts in it. I think that the way you've phrased the description is very odd and very interesting (perhaps it reflects your scientific background?). Usually, when people describe a situation where the light is bright and a certain colour, they say "the light turned the air as green as young leaves" or something similar. Here, you've got the green turning the light, not the air, into a colour, even though green is static and light is what does the moving (both in the line and in RL). It's an unusual and a poetic way of phrasing the description, and I immediately had a vivid vision of warm sunlight filtering through tree leaves and creating hazy, brilliant yellow and green light. The kind of thing one sees in Robin Hood movies or other movies that have scenes where people run through the forest and the camera pans after them at a distance so that all you can see is the hazy light bursing through the trees and the people and trees limned in golden yellow and green.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 03:25 am (UTC)Re: your Roman history class, that sounds like an even more exasperating scenario since what you thought was common knowledge was actually relevant to the class material. (At least we're not actually expected to know anything about nanotech in Korean class.) I've been frequently penalized in my papers for jumping over a step in reasoning that I thought (at least) was pretty logically obvious...it's exasperating to have to hold the reader's hand throughout the entire essay, particularly when you know that academics don't actually end up doing that in their professional writing. - _-;; Anyway, that was basically just to say, I feel your pain. ;_;
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-03 06:15 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-04 03:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-05 04:05 pm (UTC)A minor thing, which I feel obliged to comment on. While I really do like the last section, the rumor that starts it up seems off to me. Women did not serve in temples really (except as nuns in a few places, or daughters or wives of monks, and all of those are kind of, well, "serve" is what they did, of course, but they did not really get the recognition of having what they did called serving). And while one can think of miko in shrines (they're practically a stereotype), the role of women in shrines is also rather marginal... almost not there, if you look at the records and the like. Far more it's organizations of men, etc. although one has to assume that the practice survived somewhere, to have survived to this day even as it did. (Except for the itako of the north, perhaps, and I would like to find more information on them, but....) And monks had a tendancy to be in charge of shrines, besides. Perhaps I should see what Fujiwara Seika or Hayashi Razan had to say on the matter, although I think they only concern themselves with Yamatohime's oracle pronouncements--which is to say, Ise, which is another issue altogether.
Mind you, this is not to tell you to change that line! The story works fine as it is, and all writers approximate. (Urushibara made her world a deliberate alternate universe, I think, to allow for a lot of anachronism.) But since it is my topic of interest (even if it's not quite the time period I specialize in), I felt obliged to mention.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-08 11:15 pm (UTC)I'm really glad to hear that you liked the fic since I first heard of the series when you posted your FST for it, way back when, and I started watching the anime because the description intrigued me. ^_^
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-05 06:56 pm (UTC)YES, this is exactly the sense I get from so many of the one-shot characters in this manga. Also a big YES to the narrator's voice -- your Mushishi isn't Ginko, but he's got the same detached, precise, observant but still idiosyncratic ("At an inn I came across in my travels, I heard a story...") style. Also, your mushi are very imaginitive while still fitting with the mushi we see in the series; the settings fit too.
To memories! I really like this.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-08 11:20 pm (UTC)By the way, I really, really want to read the Mushishi fic(s) you were going to write for this challenge. Is there any hope of seeing it soon? (Or possibly that original slash concept you mentioned.) ^____^
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-09 12:14 am (UTC)I...I keep getting sidetracked >_> a large part of this is general insecurity. I mean there are times when I can't even stand re-reading what I've already have written, it is THAT bad. (It probably isn't, but.)
I'll finish some time or other, don't worry.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-13 06:00 pm (UTC)I like buckyballs, too; I made my Chemistry teacher one out of origami paper. They're fun to put together, but the last piece is always difficult to fit in.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-14 05:30 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-20 01:58 am (UTC)