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tarigwaemirLowell House, on the Feast of St. Stephen Harding
::sighs:: I don't feel ready for the Shoryuhai (the huge intercollegiate kendo tournament we host) this weekend. We did shiai today, and I lost the first match and tied the second. The second bothers me more than the first. I mean, I've lost to Joe before, which (to tell the truth) galls me to no end, but hey, it means that's the level I'm currently at right now. If I want to do better, then I just have to get better. My match with Sarah though was frustrating because it's the type of player that I still haven't really learned how to deal with, i.e. the beginner who is larger than me and uses their weight to push me around. How much do you want to bet that I'm going to come up against several of those during the Shoryuhai? Argh...maybe it's because I built up a lot of expectations for the tournament this year, but I've been feeling disappointed in myself since Spring Break, and that usually makes my kendo even worse. (See, it's the last time I'll be really participating in the Shoryuhai; even if I come back after graduation, I'd only be allowed to participate in individuals. Plus, I had to sit out sophomore year because of my sprained ankle. So I want to, you know, be able to look back on this last tournament and feel that I could be proud of how I did.)
Well, since there's only four days left, I can't really do much now except try to eat well and keep up what arm and leg strength I have before the tournament. (Augh, my legs were completely giving out on me today.)
What's ironic is that objectively speaking, I think my kendo has improved a lot more this year than last year, but I feel a lot more lousy about it than I did at this time last year. Possibly because last year I was so busy feeling responsible for other people that I didn't have much time to pay attention to myself.
To everyone affected by the Virginia Tech shootings...my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Yours &c.
Post-script: Well, that's a shock. There's been a bit of a conflict over the kendo mailing list. What's happened to this club? We used to be such a tight-knit group, but it feels like somewhere along the way, we've fragmented a lot. ;_; Has there not been enough bonding lately? Maybe I've just been looking at it through rose-colored glasses, but I always thought that kendo was a family. Whatever happened to the love? ;_;
Wow, I feel more depressed than ever. I really hate the spring.
::sighs:: I don't feel ready for the Shoryuhai (the huge intercollegiate kendo tournament we host) this weekend. We did shiai today, and I lost the first match and tied the second. The second bothers me more than the first. I mean, I've lost to Joe before, which (to tell the truth) galls me to no end, but hey, it means that's the level I'm currently at right now. If I want to do better, then I just have to get better. My match with Sarah though was frustrating because it's the type of player that I still haven't really learned how to deal with, i.e. the beginner who is larger than me and uses their weight to push me around. How much do you want to bet that I'm going to come up against several of those during the Shoryuhai? Argh...maybe it's because I built up a lot of expectations for the tournament this year, but I've been feeling disappointed in myself since Spring Break, and that usually makes my kendo even worse. (See, it's the last time I'll be really participating in the Shoryuhai; even if I come back after graduation, I'd only be allowed to participate in individuals. Plus, I had to sit out sophomore year because of my sprained ankle. So I want to, you know, be able to look back on this last tournament and feel that I could be proud of how I did.)
Well, since there's only four days left, I can't really do much now except try to eat well and keep up what arm and leg strength I have before the tournament. (Augh, my legs were completely giving out on me today.)
What's ironic is that objectively speaking, I think my kendo has improved a lot more this year than last year, but I feel a lot more lousy about it than I did at this time last year. Possibly because last year I was so busy feeling responsible for other people that I didn't have much time to pay attention to myself.
To everyone affected by the Virginia Tech shootings...my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Yours &c.
Post-script: Well, that's a shock. There's been a bit of a conflict over the kendo mailing list. What's happened to this club? We used to be such a tight-knit group, but it feels like somewhere along the way, we've fragmented a lot. ;_; Has there not been enough bonding lately? Maybe I've just been looking at it through rose-colored glasses, but I always thought that kendo was a family. Whatever happened to the love? ;_;
Wow, I feel more depressed than ever. I really hate the spring.
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Date: 2007-04-23 01:41 am (UTC)also it goes without saying that you need to write an eat-your-words post about not being ready for shoryuhai. you little MONSTER! rAAAWWR!
<3<3<3, so proud of you :D