Self-examination
Jan. 23rd, 2003 09:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tarigwaemirAd Mundo Exteriore,
For some reason, I'm feeling depressed. At least, I think I feel depressed. I feel upset and sad and slightly apathetic all at once, though I'm not quite sure why. I have a feeling constant sleep deprivation is the major source, but it's very strange to feel so, well, down. I'm not exactly cheerful, but I'm not really supposed to be depressed either. More like obsessively morbid or self-pitying, but not really depressed. In any case, I'm trying to remain detached from this mood, but that's making me lethargic. I'm pretty good at emotional control usually--mostly because a lot of my emotional states are partly willed and not completely natural--but lately I've blown up severely, to my utter complete surprise. Even when I blew up before, like that time in third grade at Girl Scouts camp, there was some amount of, "Well, fine, I'm going to be mad or crying or generally throwing some kind of fit now," but this time it took me entirely by surprise.
No, I don't repress. I just detach. Which isn't working too well right now. -_- Still, monitoring my serotonin levels scrupulously, like what's-his-name from The Corrections, so I don't take myself too seriously. If I get a good night's sleep tonight, I should feel better in the morning, anyway.
Anyway, I took out an unabridged copy of The Count of Monte Cristo, something I've been meaning to do for years, in order to indulge myself. Hopefully, descriptions of priceless bottles carved out of giant emeralds will return me to my normally mentally stable self.
...Tari
For some reason, I'm feeling depressed. At least, I think I feel depressed. I feel upset and sad and slightly apathetic all at once, though I'm not quite sure why. I have a feeling constant sleep deprivation is the major source, but it's very strange to feel so, well, down. I'm not exactly cheerful, but I'm not really supposed to be depressed either. More like obsessively morbid or self-pitying, but not really depressed. In any case, I'm trying to remain detached from this mood, but that's making me lethargic. I'm pretty good at emotional control usually--mostly because a lot of my emotional states are partly willed and not completely natural--but lately I've blown up severely, to my utter complete surprise. Even when I blew up before, like that time in third grade at Girl Scouts camp, there was some amount of, "Well, fine, I'm going to be mad or crying or generally throwing some kind of fit now," but this time it took me entirely by surprise.
No, I don't repress. I just detach. Which isn't working too well right now. -_- Still, monitoring my serotonin levels scrupulously, like what's-his-name from The Corrections, so I don't take myself too seriously. If I get a good night's sleep tonight, I should feel better in the morning, anyway.
Anyway, I took out an unabridged copy of The Count of Monte Cristo, something I've been meaning to do for years, in order to indulge myself. Hopefully, descriptions of priceless bottles carved out of giant emeralds will return me to my normally mentally stable self.
...Tari
