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tarigwaemirAd Mundo Exteriore,
I've just realized in a belated moment that yes, indeed, I got that problem on the biology midterm wrong. It's been in the back of my mind all afternoon, because I solved it in the last five minutes, and I knew my answer was kind of weird, but I only figured out why, right now.
I would be more upset about this little epiphany, if it were not for the fact that I'm just relieved that my two and a half hours of studying still pulled me through the other four or five questions. The midterm itself was pretty easy, even the question I messed up on. One of the questions was identical to a problem on last year's test. It was the wording that threw me off on this particular question, though that's no real excuse. Nevertheless, even if I get absolutely no credit for the question (which is a possibility and could leave me with a B), I'm finding myself pretty carefree about the whole situation.
No, it isn't apathy. (I'm sorry, I can't manage that, ever, because I know that I'm going to be an academic for the rest of my life. I'm a born student, and I find nothing wrong in burying myself in the cobwebs of ivory towers, indulging in empty abstractions, taking useless courses, etc.) It's just that today, I looked up and noticed that the leaves have changed color and are starting to fall. There's a strong wind outside that scatters them across the ground in mandala-like patterns, and I can't possibly be unhappy when I see a bright-colored, star-shaped leaf, in the perfect shade of crimson, poking up through the grass on my way back to the dorm. One of the streets on my route has a row of slender trees planted all along the sidewalk, with fronds of little yellow leaflets, and on a windy day like this, you find yourself walking under a perpetual golden shower. It reminds me of Lothlorien. For the first time this week, I haven't minded the chilly weather, and I've suddenly remembered how pleasant it is to stroll along brick-paved streets on an autumn afternoon, when it's not too sunny and there's a faint cold tang to the air. I was wearing my huge windbreaker, the one that looks vaguely like a cloak, and it kept billowing dramatically behind me. ^_^ I do enjoy windy days.
(Well, to drop the pose for a moment, I suppose it helps that my lowest test grade will get dropped anyway, if it's significantly lower than the other two, and that I got a good grade on my last Rome of Augustus section assignment, despite all its last-minute babbling. So nice to have a generous TF. My good mood isn't entirely due to the romantic appreciation of the weather.)
In any case, I've decided that I'm going to take the advice of all those Latin poets and move with the flow. What's the point of taking a literature class without absorbing what you're reading? For the past week, Horace and Vergil and Catallus have been telling me that life is fleeting, change is inevitable, and immortality is gained in the artistic comprehension of a moment. Yes, I know, all you HPTF people have been saying the same thing for the past few years, but you never say it joyfully. It always comes out sounding like the inevitable reaction to too much pressure and stress. Kind of vindictive, actually, in that typical adolescent fashion. Sorry for sounding patronizing. But the thing is, I don't mean that I'm going to stop caring about my schoolwork (face it, that's an impossibility), but rather let bygones be bygones and apply the extreme perfectionism to different things. Like eating all three meals, perhaps. Or getting enough sleep. Or at least that HIR article, which is still nonexistent, as of the moment.
(Hey, I'm still technically in my teens. Got to complain about something in my LJ.)
I want to focus on enjoying my classes, doing the readings not because I'm supposed to read them but because I want to. Which I do, genuinely, although I forget that when I feel like I have too many assignments and too little time. Also, reserving my efforts for the homeworks that are truly worthwhile. That is, stop caring if I make stupid mistakes on my problem sets or write the utterly pointless HGDRP modules in a hurried, incomprehensible rush. On the other hand, that means I should kind of start my Rome of Augustus paper now, since I do find the assignment interesting.
I think you should dread this new resolution. It means long, rapturous LJ entries on the parametrization of 3D surfaces and conjugation mechanisms in bacteria, since I won't be feeling guilty about wasting time on LJ anymore. ::evil grin::
...Tari
I've just realized in a belated moment that yes, indeed, I got that problem on the biology midterm wrong. It's been in the back of my mind all afternoon, because I solved it in the last five minutes, and I knew my answer was kind of weird, but I only figured out why, right now.
I would be more upset about this little epiphany, if it were not for the fact that I'm just relieved that my two and a half hours of studying still pulled me through the other four or five questions. The midterm itself was pretty easy, even the question I messed up on. One of the questions was identical to a problem on last year's test. It was the wording that threw me off on this particular question, though that's no real excuse. Nevertheless, even if I get absolutely no credit for the question (which is a possibility and could leave me with a B), I'm finding myself pretty carefree about the whole situation.
No, it isn't apathy. (I'm sorry, I can't manage that, ever, because I know that I'm going to be an academic for the rest of my life. I'm a born student, and I find nothing wrong in burying myself in the cobwebs of ivory towers, indulging in empty abstractions, taking useless courses, etc.) It's just that today, I looked up and noticed that the leaves have changed color and are starting to fall. There's a strong wind outside that scatters them across the ground in mandala-like patterns, and I can't possibly be unhappy when I see a bright-colored, star-shaped leaf, in the perfect shade of crimson, poking up through the grass on my way back to the dorm. One of the streets on my route has a row of slender trees planted all along the sidewalk, with fronds of little yellow leaflets, and on a windy day like this, you find yourself walking under a perpetual golden shower. It reminds me of Lothlorien. For the first time this week, I haven't minded the chilly weather, and I've suddenly remembered how pleasant it is to stroll along brick-paved streets on an autumn afternoon, when it's not too sunny and there's a faint cold tang to the air. I was wearing my huge windbreaker, the one that looks vaguely like a cloak, and it kept billowing dramatically behind me. ^_^ I do enjoy windy days.
(Well, to drop the pose for a moment, I suppose it helps that my lowest test grade will get dropped anyway, if it's significantly lower than the other two, and that I got a good grade on my last Rome of Augustus section assignment, despite all its last-minute babbling. So nice to have a generous TF. My good mood isn't entirely due to the romantic appreciation of the weather.)
In any case, I've decided that I'm going to take the advice of all those Latin poets and move with the flow. What's the point of taking a literature class without absorbing what you're reading? For the past week, Horace and Vergil and Catallus have been telling me that life is fleeting, change is inevitable, and immortality is gained in the artistic comprehension of a moment. Yes, I know, all you HPTF people have been saying the same thing for the past few years, but you never say it joyfully. It always comes out sounding like the inevitable reaction to too much pressure and stress. Kind of vindictive, actually, in that typical adolescent fashion. Sorry for sounding patronizing. But the thing is, I don't mean that I'm going to stop caring about my schoolwork (face it, that's an impossibility), but rather let bygones be bygones and apply the extreme perfectionism to different things. Like eating all three meals, perhaps. Or getting enough sleep. Or at least that HIR article, which is still nonexistent, as of the moment.
(Hey, I'm still technically in my teens. Got to complain about something in my LJ.)
I want to focus on enjoying my classes, doing the readings not because I'm supposed to read them but because I want to. Which I do, genuinely, although I forget that when I feel like I have too many assignments and too little time. Also, reserving my efforts for the homeworks that are truly worthwhile. That is, stop caring if I make stupid mistakes on my problem sets or write the utterly pointless HGDRP modules in a hurried, incomprehensible rush. On the other hand, that means I should kind of start my Rome of Augustus paper now, since I do find the assignment interesting.
I think you should dread this new resolution. It means long, rapturous LJ entries on the parametrization of 3D surfaces and conjugation mechanisms in bacteria, since I won't be feeling guilty about wasting time on LJ anymore. ::evil grin::
...Tari
